Monday, August 18, 2008

Eh?

It’s been a wile, eh?

Sorry to cause worry or concern, Dear Readers – that was never my intention.

So what’s the deal? You so rightly ask.

Oh – where to begin? Nothing serious, nothing exciting, nothing other than every-day-life. I wish I could say I had taken a surprise trip to Fiji. But I haven’t. And yes, even though it was my worst race last year and a race that I fully intend to compete sometime in the future; I wasn’t up at Timberman (although I know it would have been incredible to watch). No – sadly I wasn’t up in the Twin Cities with my folks or in Philadelphia with my sister.

I’ve been in Pensacola, going about with recovery (again, the physical and mental part – it never seems to end), enjoying the new furniture, going out on dates with Nathaniel, reading at local cafes, and watching the kitties with growing amusement.

Anabelle, it seems, thinks that her tail is some foreign object needing to be chased. So she runs in circles, chasing a tail that seems to always elude her.

And Tabbitha? Well, The House Monster is growing less hostile towards her Itty-Bitty counterpart. We’re down to merely one or two chases per day, although Anabelle is the provoker of kitty chases.

Quite frankly, I can’t blame Tabbitha, as Anabelle has now taken over The Ugly Green Recliner. The battle for this piece of furniture is never ending. And never ceases to amaze me. Between the Husband, The House Monster, and Itty-Bitty Kitty, the recliner is the most coveted piece of furniture in our house. And after buying a new living room set, that is just plain wrong.

Additionally, I’m a self-professed “Olympaholic”. There’s something simply incredible about watching these amazing athletes pursue their dreams, give their all, and participate in the sports they love. I have a newfound respect for those athletes recovering from injuries; I know how difficult the physical – and now mental – hurdles can be.

And what about those Canadians, eh? Only recently have they managed to win a few medals. The Canadian press, prime minister, and public – as reported in the NY Times – have become increasingly alarmed. Even I feel bad for our Northern Friends. So I’ve taken to cheering them on as well as the US.

I was very happy the Canadian Lightweight woman’s double won bronze, and over the moon about the Canadian Men’s eight gold. I speak of rowing….

But that still doesn’t answer the main question – what about the blog?

Through this journey, one of my friends recently dropped a bombshell on me. “Marit,” she said, “You are one of the most Thinking-persons that I know. But in your thoughts, in your brain, you loose complete sight of your feelings.”

I wondered if she was correct. And as I went about my day, it slowly dawned on me how correct she was. I can think my way into and out of just about anything – be it races, feelings, ideas, writing, training, etc. If I want to hit x mile in y time, then I need to run at z pace… Additionally, I think when I write, but I don’t take the time to experience, to feel what I’m writing. There’s a huge disconnect between what I write – getting the thoughts out onto paper – versus feeling the emotions that accompany those thoughts.

In the past few years, I’ve turned off my feeling receptors and instead have tuned in only to the thinking aspect of life.

So my challenge to myself was to simply sit back and FEEL for the past week or two.

Turn off the computer, get off the treadmill, not write (although that was tough, as I get a lot of my issues out by writing), and simply experience and feel the emotions.

And for the first time in recent memory, I actually stopped while running.

Odd, I know. Something the thinking aspect of Marit would NEVER do – that’s not the point…. But the feeling aspect of Marit wanted to try something new.

While running the trails out at UWF, I crested a rather-large hill in the middle of the woods. The morning’s rain had left droplets on the leaves and trees, and as the wind rustled the overhanging foliage, I could feel the individual droplets splashing off my face, neck, and shoulders. I paused, turned my face into the wind, closed my eyes, and simply let myself feel my surroundings.

I heard birds chirping, could hear a rushing stream nearby, felt the wind whip past my body as the droplets rained down on my open arms. I opened my eyes, and picked up a red and rust-colored triangle shaped stone near my feet. The sand felt gritty between my fingers and I could feel the rough edges of the stone.

I’m not really sure how long I stood still – it felt like an eternity within a matter of seconds.

But I was proud of myself, because I took the time to really feel something, even though it was contrary to my running task-at-hand.

And I realize that sometimes we need to rock the boat, so to speak. Sometimes we need to go out of our comfort zone and really feel things for what they are. Take a break from what we’re used to in order to grow. I’m still figuring things out on this journey, but I feel closer to a resolution as each day passes.

Now, if you can excuse me, I’m going to go cheer for the US and some Canadians, eh?

12 comments:

Kim said...

I'm not going to lie, I was wondering, and hoping you were ok and doing well even despite the no writing. Sounds like you did yourself some good, and examined some important things which are integral to growth. I sometimes find myself loosing sight of these same things. I go out to run to "get my workout in" instead of going out to feel the wind, or smell the fresh air, or observe all the wonderful things about nature that make me smile. I need to re-adjust my focus somemtimes or I will miss the journey. Thanks for reminding me Marit! You ROCK! Glad you are "feeling" better.

rr said...

Hey - missed ya! Glad you took some you-time though.. sounds like a great run!

TriGirl Kate O said...

Those are the best kind of runs! Here's to taking the time to enjoy it.

Sally said...

Yeah, you're back. Love hearing from you. In my free time, after retirement, I too am learning to take time to feel - to interact in a "feeling way" with myself, family and nature. It's like swimming for me - every once in a while - I feel it and it feels great. I'm going out on a run now and think about you. So glad you're back.
xo
Sally

Anonymous said...

Hey girl!!! Yes, it is good to feel....sometimes we are not good at that because we are scared to feel something that is not familiar or nice...but that is life and we learn everyday something about ourselves.
I have been missing you...glad that you are ok; feeling and stoping to smell the roses. MISS YOU GIRL!! Very proud of you...life goes on!!
lv ya,
Ludi

Bruce Stewart (施樸樂) (ブルース・スチュワート) said...

I think one thing I have learned from the Olympics is that there are many more sports besides triathlon, and there are no doubt a few others sports that we can participate in and enjoy without getting too serious about how we perform.
I am pleased you have been spending more time with the people close to you and refocusing. You have many talents, and I am sure you will be writing more about some of them. All the best.

kerrie said...

thanks for the canadian cheering, we've been in desperate need of that since most of the canadian press seemed to have written off all of the athletes! i think they are finally starting to find their way back in to the medals though...

did you see the spectacular men's tri race? now that was gutsy, eh?

Cy said...

Hey Marit-

I'm glad your taking the time to 'feel' and enjoy the summer.

Enjoy the final few days of the Olympics..Such inspiration.

Kellye Mills said...

I think that's great! Blogging is kind of hard work sometimes, so I've gotten much more slack about it, but I hope it's ok to all my blogger friends, as we are ok with you needing your space for your journey! I think about you everytime I watch the rowing by the way, thinking... I bet Marit could beat her!! :)

Steve Stenzel said...

Oh, pets and their tails. When will they learn.

And I was TOTALLY into the Olympics too. I have 10 steps on "how to get over the Olympics" on my blog that you might enjoy....

;)

rr said...

Hey - still miss your blogs. Internet world needs to know how you're doing, OK? Shoot me an email when you can? Hope all is well..

Alili said...

Thinking about you:)