Sunday, December 27, 2009

Status Update!

Woa! Hello there! Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, Joyous Kwanzaa, Happy Saturnalia, Merry Solstice, Happy St. Stephen's Day, Happy Hanukkah, Greater Eid, Go Boxing Day!, Happy Festivus, Hooray for the Yule Tide, and Mele Kalikimaka!

Lots going on, many things happening...and I now find myself in Minnesota. Away from the Christmas Cookie Wreaths, but surrounded by Czech Vanocka instead. All these treats and holiday food is becoming a problem; and for the first time in many many many weeks, even Nathaniel is craving tofu stir fry. Another Festivus Miracle, I suppose.

But I am staying strong - eating whatever I want, but making sure to complete my daily workouts, and having fun in the process. Hey; after the "Year of Ironman" for me, its my gift to myself (not micromanaging every last bit that goes into my body). Time to kick back and relax, the best that I can. There will be plenty of time to get back to my typical nutritional intake; now I'm just having fun and relaxing with loved ones.

But back to my main point - Status Updates! There have been many (although I've been off FaceBook - too many people to see and too much to do!)... so here's a taste of what's been going on these past few days....

-Definition of EMBARRASSMENT: Mom invites old junior high/high school (jh/hs) crush into house with the guise that I have a "question" about a new camera. Girl finds herself sitting in living room with JH/HS crush + Mom + Current Husband. Girl learns new appreciation of awkward silence; especially after Mom and Current Husband leave said living room. Girl and former crush talk about getting old. Girl apologizes to crush for current situation.

-Yak Tracks are wonderful and will keep you upright 95% of the time. I'm speaking from experience.

-While my Mother-in-Law's coffee gets slightly weaker as the years go by, my Father's could power a nuclear sub.

-If I thought Nathaniel had a bit of a pyromaniac-streak back in California, its nothing compared to the live fire he built in my parent's fireplace. The fireplace tools only added to his enjoyment.

-Candied fruit slices: YUM!

-Forgetting to wear gloves during hill repeats: OUCH!

-If I feel like I'm being watched by my Mom's collection of miniature Santas, that pales in comparison to my Dad's new life sized toy owl, that hoots and moves its head just like its real counterpart. Right now the thing is glaring me down from atop its post on the mantle.

-My Mom has a new "Best Boyfriend" she won in a white elephant exchange at work. The toy-sized version (when prompted) exclaims things like
-"Let's just Cuddle tonight!"
-"Aaaw, can't your mother stay another week?"
-"You're going shopping by yourself? How about if I tag along and carry your bags!"
-"Actually I'm not sure which way to go. I'll turn in here and ask for directions"
-"Here you take the remote. As long as I'm with you, I don't care what we watch."
-" look so beautiful in the morning!"

And my personal favorite, "No! You don't look at all fat in that dress! How could anything make you look fat?"

Yes: Dad has certainly got some stiff competition.

-It is COLD. I don't care who you are or what you say: 20 degrees F with a windchill of 10 is NOT "warm". And I'm talking to YOU, Jennifer Harrison.

-I may or may not be reading "Twilight"; but I'll never admit to it. Not even when asked by some very befuddled Men shopping for their wives/daughters/female friends in Barnes & Noble which book is first and second, etc? I claimed I didn't know and then fled; after picking up book number 3, of course.

-My sister's boyfriend is awesome! But if I hear any inappropriate ruckus coming from her bedroom, I will be seriously upset. And disturbed. And someone may just be missing an important anatomical feature. Just sayin'.

-I've developed a Scottish accent after watching Billy Connolly's colonoscopy skit no less than twenty times. It is funny, it is hilarious, and I think you should watch it as well. ENJOY!


Beth said...

Sounds like you are having a blast!!! Wooo-hooo!! And yes, I agree that that is very cold weather. ;)

GoBigGreen said...

OMG I have to show this to Rich!
Gloves lady! And hats! and mufflers! :)

Jennifer Harrison said...

Marit! THERE YOU ARE! Ok...20F degrees is not really that cold...but without gloves, well...that IS cold. I guess we have so much snow here that we have insulation! LOL.

On Christmas day, before the storm, it was 38F degrees and Jerome and I were DYING OF HEAT driving to my parents house. We could not even wear our new coats (down full lengths) or anything like that - just went in tops....that is when you know you are SCREWED UP! LOL

Glad you are having fun!!! :))

PS I got the KID ROCK poster - LOVE IT! Not sure you are on FB in MN, so wanted to say THANK YOU! HO HO HO

Mer! said...

If I feel like I'm being watched by my Mom's collection of miniature Santas, that pales in comparison to my Dad's new life sized toy owl, that hoots and moves its head just like its real counterpart.


MISS YOU!! Stay warm up there! We head home from Phoenix tomorrow!!! Hope Santa was good to you!!!

Charisa said...

Merry Christmas!

Nicole- Geek Turned Athlete said...

All I can say regarding the ex crush is AWKWARD!!! haha. My mom does stuff like that all the time. Welcome to my life!! I didn't have to deal with any of the awkwardness this year since we decided to stay in Germany, and (gasp) I missed it!! Merry Christmas!!

Jennifer Yake Neuschwander said...

Tell me more about the Czech Vanoka! I am 1/4 Czech, but my mom has left out all Czech traditions that include alcohol and food. She seemed to only pull the Czech card to get me to do my homework and go to church and stuff. There must be more!

Teresa said...

Those dolls are pretty funny. Had actually forgotten about them. Great white elephant gift though!

Happy Holidays and remember the gloves (Target....2 pairs for $1.99, the best ever!!)


wonderwoman said...

Very funny about the ex crush! Why do moms do that stuff?

San said...

LOL on the coffee and your moms new toy.

Enjoy your food.


MM said...

That's funny. Happy holidays.

Kim said...

that ex- scenario is HILARIOUS! :) gotta love moms!

runningyankee said...

inappropriate ruckus- do tell!!!!
happy new year :)

ADC said...

It sounds like you are having loads of fun. Merry Xmas and give our regards to your parents.

Ryan said...

Joyous Kwanzaa to you and yours...including the eX.

Mike Russell said...

Send some of your Dad's coffee on down the line. Nothing better than some syrup to pour down the gullet in the morning!

Anonymous said...

funny post, all around. visiting "home" for xmas is always an interesting experience.

I think the funniest line is "let's just cuddle tonight!"

Kevom Mc said...

The video made my "cheeks" hurt from laughing.