Sometimes you just come to a fork in the road and...you take a picture. Pause. Think. Look both ways and cross the tracks...and keep going - knowing that you could have gone the other way, but you didn't.
As determined as I am to not let this pneumonia get the best of me, I would be pulling your leg if I didn't admit that I've felt a bit blue over the past few days. Its not about the racing, its definitely not about the training...
(Okay. You got me there. I miss the training. I never was a good liar anyway. I tend to laugh at the most inopportune of moments. I guess that's why I never play poker - just about anyone can call my bluff. But that's besides the point.)
I just miss the outdoors, I miss being myself. I miss parts of me. But I'm taking things day by day (by day, day by day - ode to Ben Stiller in "Meet The Parents"), and holding fast to the notion that with each day that passes, I'm one day closer to being pneumonia-free. And that is reason enough to jump for joy.
On the flip side...there are SO MANY things to be grateful and thankful for. Some slightly serious (great friends) and others that are, well, downright goofy (cold grapefruit). In order to cheer myself up - I made a list.
-Saucony! I'm part of the Saucony Hurricane Program, and absolutely LOVE running in my Progride Guide 3s. The shoes are fantastic - especially as I was having so many calf and shin problems with my other-brand shoes at the end of last year. Once I made the switch to Saucony, I've been a MUCH happier camper (when I've been able to run), and haven't looked back. That being said - not much racing or training going on.
However...what did I find when I came home from today's new doctor's appointment? Two large boxes waiting on my front step with GREAT Saucony gear! I am SUPER excited to be a part of this awesome program - the attention to detail and care that Saucony gives all athletes is amazing. I sent my rep a THANK YOU email RIGHT away...and then threw on the running shorts. Just because they are comfy and I love them and maybe I can "will" my way to better health. It was the best pick-me-up an athletic gal-at-heart can get.
- Stacy...my incredible, awesome, amazing friend who helped me find a new doctor (who I think is totally fabulous!). Stacey - I know I've sent you emails...and I'm totally looking forward to chasing you around GWL and Mt Laguna in a few (fingers crossed and knock on wood) weeks - but I'm saying it again. THANKS for your help. You didn't have to do what you did - but you did anyway. Awesome!
- i-tunes. Because when you're sick as a dog, you don't want to leave the house if you can help it and none of the movies in your collection seem appealing. Yeah. Notably, I'd like to call out to the following films, which have kept me very entertained (with numerous views)
* Up. (Can I just say I think this is one of the best movies. Ever. And I totally want a dog like Doug now. In fact, whenever I see a dog - I think of the "puppies" from Up. Sure - I laughed and cried repeatedly throughout - but it was great. Bravo Pixar!)
* New Moon. Okay, okay - I fell for the 'Twilight Saga' thingy. At least the movie was WAY better than the book. Now...let's get film #3 to be released....
* Julie & Julia. Cooking, food, good storyline...need I say more? Bravo!
-Kleenex with aloe and lotion. Because after near constant tissue use, I don't think I would have a nose left if what I was blowing in hadn't been medicinally altered. Yeah. Still - my nose has adopted a near constant red state-of-being (but at least it matches m Saucony gear!).
-Fake fireplace. The ambiance does me good, even if I have to appreciate it between nose-blowing and cough episodes.
-Blog friends, people, random strangers who leave encouraging messages of support. The downs of life aren't always easy. And when things are humming along to a perfect tune - the bad stuff never seems as bad and the GREAT stuff is always in the forefront. But at some point or another, the tide turns - if even for a little bit. No matter how crummy I feel, how many boxes of Kleenex I go through, or how many times I make Nathaniel cringe by hacking up another loogie - I am ALWAYS grateful and thankful for my many wonderful friends and support system. THANK YOU!
- Mozart. Because he is MUCH easier to play than the random Polish-composers we played for our last concert series. And he sounds better too. Trust me.
- The Green Fern. So far, I've managed to keep my fern alive for the past month. Hooray! (Read: I'm not a plant killer and therefore totally inept when it comes to other life forms). He/She is still looking great and not at all "wilty".
-Cold grapefruit. Yep, this one's for real. I cut it up into tiny sections and spoon it out the way I did when I was a little kid. Its one of the things I can still taste in my congested-state. And it is delicious with every scoop.
-The new toilet bowl plunger. Yes - I think my toilet has it in for me. Perhaps its the medication, lack of exercise, change in diet - or all three. Its never a good thing when you find yourself praying that everything will flush before even attempting to flush. Seriously - its not my internal plumbing...its just the pipes in our condo. At least the new plunger makes life a little easier.
-Real Housewives of ______________. (take your pick). I don't normally watch this shite, but lately I have been. I'll blame the late night coughing fits. And in all seriousness - it makes me feel better about myself (even in my pneumatic-state.)
-Book Club. They make me feel better about the stuff I watch on TV (that was sort of a joke). I'm looking forward to this weekend's meeting... We just finished reading "The Likeness" by Tana French. Good read about Utopian-like societies...and such...but that's all I'm saying. The writing wasn't as draw-you-in-can't-put-it-down fantastic as last month's "The Help" by Kathryn Stockett - but the themes were intriguing and I'm interested in seeing where the discussion will go...Good ending, but I think I would have liked it better had I been feeling healthier while reading. Oh well.
- Outside deck: because at least if I can't train outside, I'll at least get to enjoy sitting out here. (And NO - this is not my outside deck. Its one of the train depots in downtown San Diego. I took a few pictures when I was down there last January with Dad...)
- To ME. For not totally spazzing out about not training/racing, going with the flow, being kind to myself, letting myself eat (and enjoy!) chocolate, and realizing that sometimes we need to get on a different train for a time being - and that's okay. Because the destination - whatever we choose it to be - will still be there. When we're ready.
Now...I'm just waiting for my train, and trying to decide which one is right for me. I'll be sure to keep you posted - just in case you were worried.