West Coast Wishes

We are so not getting San Diego as our next place of living.

And you want to know why?

Because yesterday afternoon, Nathaniel and I spent mucho time looking at houses, apartments, condos, and townhouses in the greater San Diego area. We've narrowed it down to Carlsbad, or possibly Encinitas. We loved Del Mar, but think that the commute for Nathaniel (getting to the base, and then getting to the flight line way in the middle of base) would be a little far.

Besides, Carlsbad looked positively wonderful.

And then we found it.

The perfect townhouse. Hard wood floors, two stories, a fireplace, high ceilings (vaulted), three bedrooms and 2.5 baths. Okay - so maybe it was a few blocks from I-5. But still - it was within walking distance of Carlsbad Village and had a view of the Blue Lagoon.

Now: cue the crashing music. The "catch" if you may.

We haven't been assigned our next duty station. Yet. We don't know where we'll be: still a toss up between San Diego (Camp Pendleton) or Jacksonville, NC (Camp Lejeune and New River Air Station).

So, I'm convinced that we're doomed.

There is no way that we're going to get San Diego.

Instead, we'll be spending an eternity, er, a long time in North Carolina. Not that there's anything wrong with that... But we're ready for a change. We're ready to be out of the south. We're ready for mountains, a Pacific view, local vineyards, an area with lots of great universities, many different kinds of people, different sorts of restaurants (I love the Falafel at Roxies in Encinitas!)... a new experience, if you may.

So the realist (nay, not pessimist) knows that we'll end up with North Carolina. Again.

But there is still hope. Nathaniel hasn't been selected yet (the way this works: he lists his top helicopter picks and on which coast he wants to fly them. The instructors do their best to accommodate the students with their first or second picks...but there's always an off-chance that things will go very wrong. Like if there are no West Coast Cobra slots available the week of his selection.)

According to this model, we could potentially end up in Okinawa, Japan.

And that's someplace we definitely don't want.

Back in March when I crashed and broke my sacrum, my Dad and Nathaniel flew out to stay with me. After I was released from Scripps La Jolla (the best hospital ever!), we stayed right on the ocean in Del Mar. It was then that Dad became convinced that we were going to end up in Southern California.

He claimed that he had "a feeling".

Lately, Nathaniel has been having "a feeling" as well. His "feeling" points to San Diego, hence the online house hunt yesterday.

I seem to be the only realist, er pessimist, that realizes that we haven't been given our next assignment.

I guess a big part of me doesn't want to dare to hope. I would love to live in San Diego so much - but am afraid of getting my hopes up only to be disappointed with Jacksonville, NC. The tough part is that I don't have any control over this. None - absolutely zero. And I knew that when I married Nathaniel.

It just doesn't get any easier.

But that's the great thing about hope. It's still there. She's still whispering the sweet songs of Southern California, which we dare to dream. We don't know yet; therefore hope is still alive. And that's something that the realist in me does recognize.

So in the meantime, I'll continue to dream, continue to hope. And we'll keep looking for houses in the San Diego and the Carlsbad area. Because that's the great thing about hope: it's still alive and we're still in the running. Until we hear otherwise.