S1, S2 and The Pep Talk

There are times when we have absolutely the perfect bike ride. The sun is shining, the winds are low, roads are smooth, bugs are not present, and four hours feels like four minutes.

Then there are other rides. The kind where headwinds are never ending, your bike seat is trying to permanently maim you, the gels taste awful, and you end up giving yourself a pep talk at 3:42 into the ride knowing full well that you've still got another 45 minutes left to go.

The latter was my ride today.

It was a battle of wills, a battle within myself if you may. And after I peeled off from Ludi and our little group at 2:30 into the ride, the final few hours felt long and never ending.

So here are the conversations that I had with myself. Because after all, in the end, I did survive.

Self 1: Wow. Look at those guys going up the hill. Am I going backwards? To quote Phil Ligget, "The rubber band has snapped and she's dropping back!"
Self 2: At least I'm biking up the hill. Besides, who wants to go 20 mph up a hill that you usually take at 13. They can race themselves, thank-you-very-much!

Self 1: It's cold. I should have brought arm warmers!
Self 2: Dude - It's in the upper 60s, soon to be 70. HTFU!

Self 1: Sunscreen is getting in my eyes! Ouch!
Self 2: Your 60-year-old non-wrinkled self will thank you one day.

Self 1: Wow, this road has a huge headwind! Don't look at the mph, don't look at the mph, don't look at the mph....
Self 2: Oh good! A turn up ahead! Tailwind, here I come!
Self 1: Oops, not really a headwind. Just slow. Now this is wind.
Self 2: Perfect for Kona one day!

Self 1: Am I going the right way?
Self 2: You have a great sense of direction!
Self 1: Then why does that sign say Alabama?
Self 2: Well, I can enjoy that extra dessert tonight!
Self 1: You're doing no candy and no baked goods in October. Genius.

Self 1: F*ck! My saddle sore has now (gulp) burst? (At least that's the only thing I can think of that would explain the sensation in my sensitive area)
Self 2: That's okay! You'll be all ready for full blown IM training next year!

Self 1: I hate my saddle.
Self 2: But it's pink. You like pink. Therefore you like your saddle.

Self 1: I have gone less than 70.3 miles in the time it takes the 70.3 Pro Men to win their race. And they have to swim before and run after. Busybody's.
Self 2: At least your planning on going 70.3 miles.

Self 1: I hate my gels
Self 2: Let's buy a granola bar at the store!
(at the store...20 minutes later)
Self 1: They only sell candy. And baked goods. There is no justice!
Self 2: Yeah - I can try Orange Gatorade!
Self 1: No one would know if you bought licorice... or a donut... and you totally deserve it!
Self 2: But I would know. And in the end, that's all that counts.

Self 1: Oh Sh*t! I forgot my bike bag (with the phone, car key, money, tire levers, tube, id cards) four miles back at the store. You have got to be kidding.
Self 2: More time to bike and enjoy the beautiful country roads!
(turns out the awesome people at the store were holding it for me and they sent out someone to find me. Unfortunately they went on the wrong road - but the thought was really nice. Thank you country store in Munson, FL!)

Self 1: My quads feel like they're about to burst out of my shorts if I climb another "roller"
Self 2: Oh good, I'm building muscles!

Self 1: My gum tastes gross!
Self 2: At least I have teeth to chew it with.

Self 1: Thank God I made it back to the end of the trail. Only 7 more bloody miles to go.
Self 2: I'm doing great! Only 7 more miles to go!

Self 1: That wasn't so bad. Now that it's over.
Self 2: You have got to be kidding. You would have made the flippin' ride so much easier had you decided to act like that throughout.

So the moral of the story: I survived the ride, my pep talk with 45 minutes left convinced me to press forward, and I wasn't really worse for the wear. Plus, I discovered a few new roads, learned that people in Munson are really great with lost possessions, and I'm one day closer to ending the October no candy, no baked goods challenge. And that's something to smile about.