Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Armchair Wars Part 2

Once upon a time, there was a boy who studied very hard. He sat in his favorite green recliner, surrounded by books, and spent hours upon hours reading and preparing to become a helicopter pilot.

He loved this recliner SO much. He would nap in it. He would listen to the radio in it. He would watch movies in it. He even took pictures from it, when he thought no one was looking (but they were).

He was so attached to the recliner. He read in it, not only his study material, but his regular books as well. He listened to music in it. He even ate his meals (from time to time) in it. The green recliner and the boy were the best of friends, and spent a lot of time together.

But there was someone else who loved the recliner...

Someone who didn't have a sense of humor. And who didn't like to share.

One Sunday, the boy was studying very hard for his helicopter flight the next day. He had brewed himself a pot of coffee, ate his breakfast (in the green recliner), and studied very hard all morning. Finally, he got up from the green recliner. He needed to stretch his limbs, to use the bathroom, to take a break.

But he was being watched. There was another being in the room, intent on claiming the recliner as her own. She waited and waited. And then waited some more. She was patient, and she was determined to get her recliner.

She watched him leave the room, ears perked in case of an early return. When she heard the boy in the bathroom, she sprung into action. Quick as a flash, she jumped onto the recliner, claiming it as her own.

She spread herself out as wide as she could, pretending to be asleep.

The boy returned, only to find a big cat in his chair. Shaking his head, he removed the fearsome creature from the green recliner, and reclaimed his spot. The cat was forced to lay on the ground.

She was mad, but undeterred. She had seen the boy drink a lot of coffee, and knew that it would only be a matter of time before he got up again.

And sure enough, as soon as he got up from the recliner, she waited for the familiar "click" of the bathroom door, and hopped on. She had been explicitly told, "don't even think about it!" by the boy. But she didn't care. And besides, she needed to clean herself.

And the chair helped her to stay upright. It's a tricky process, cleaning oneself. The green chair was paramount to her success. She could sink her sharp claws into the green fabric, and hold herself upright. The chair was instrumental in this job.

The boy soon returned, only to find the cat had taken his chair. The boy looked at the cat. And the cat looked at the boy.

In the past, they had tried to share the green recliner.

But that didn't turn out so well.

This time around, the boy really needed the chair. The chair helped him study. He pretended to fly the helicopter from the chair. "Chair Flying," he called it. The chair gave him strength. The energy from the chair helped him retain memory from the thousands upon thousands of flash cards that he had to memorize.

So, ever so carefully (because he knew the cat had sharp teeth and ready claws), the boy took back the chair.

The cat returned to the ground, and lay down. She got as comfortable as she could, while the boy looked on. They both knew he had won the battle, but the war for the green recliner still raged on.

It would simply be a matter of timing. The cat was patient; she knew the boy would not always be home, be in need of the chair.

So she waited and waited, and waited a little more. When the boy was done studying, he bid her, "good night." Exhausted, they boy fell into his bed and was soon asleep.

And the cat, feeling that victory was finally upon her, jumped up into the recliner, curled up into a little ball, and was soon slumbering blissfully away.

In her very own, ugly green recliner.

The End.


BreeWee said...

oh my gosh that cat is big... I would never fight her for the green recliner!

Marit Chrislock-Lauterbach said...

Hi Bree! Yup - she's a terror. Like I said before... 18.2 pounds of cat. But we love her "just as she is". Big kitty and all. Nate is much more brave when it comes to this stuff. He'll just remove her, while I entice her with treats. Hhhmmmm... perhaps there's a reason for her massive girth? :) Nope - she's just big boned.

Train-This said...

That's hilarious Marit! Hilarious!

:-) Mary

Beth said...

This story is so funny Marit! I love the heart picture at the end!!! :) I don't know - the animal always seems to win in the end don't they? Our dog does the same thing and I can't tell you how many times I come home to find Oscar on the floor and the dog on the couch!! :) Have a great day!

Anonymous said...

That made me laugh this morning! :)) heeeheee JenH.

Pedergraham said...

I hope that Tabbitha is not offended, but after looking at the pictures in this post, Lelia is walking around the house, singing a little tune, "The fat grey cat sat on a mat in a heart". She doesn't know that it would be more polite to refer to the kitty as "big-boned."

Kellye Mills said...

At least she knows when she's lost. Rocky doesn't quite get it, and therefore will persistently keep getting in your lap until you finally just get up and move or accept him as part of the situation!

That does look like a pretty cool recliner though. Is the table built in??? That would be awesome!

Marit Chrislock-Lauterbach said...

Ha ha ha ha ha! Danielle - I bust a gut laughing when I read what Lelia was singing. Tabbitha is not offended, as she has embraced her girth, and uses it to her full advantage. How would YOU like to have 18.2 pounds of cat come hurling at YOU? There's a reason why Nathaniel calls her "The House Monster"... :) Beth and Kellye - dogs are great like that. They love you, they don't attack... but they're very persistent. At least they're good natured. As for the ugly green recliner... it was built by a cousin of Nates and has been in his family for years. There's a blue mate to it...somewhere. The table that you see off to the side can be put on or removed. You can change it so that it goes away from the chair, or you can "lock" yourself into position (think of an airliner) and have the tray going over you. It's ugly, it's green, and I'm afraid that it's here to stay. There are too many in this household who love the chair...

Bob Mitera said...

Your cat's big brother used to live in my house. (RIP Rufus) Our cat was 23 lbs. Our vet asked if he was a wild cat and not a house cat (23 lbs is not a typo)...he did whatever our dog did (including eating) and was good natured and quite active (played fetch like the dog) in spite of his enourmous body. Great post! I miss Rufus! Bob

Greg Remaly said...

I laughed out loud reading this. Our cat doesn't like me either, but he runs aways from me whenever possible, so I don't have to worry about fighting for space!

your cat is awesomely huge and girthy. I love big cats.