Tuesday, February 5, 2008

Tabbitha's Ten

Hey all you Pool Pee-ers!

(Well, almost... there were a few who just couldn't or wouldn't admit to it... but I'm still suspicious!)

What an exciting night! As self-professed "news junkies", Nathaniel and I have been watching election returns. Tabbitha, our faithful (little?) House Monster has been keeping us company( at times).

Funny, how all that Nate and I are watching are projected results. Nothing is final - well, almost nothing...

(I was given a drafting call once, during a race where an AG male athlete worked his butt off to pass me, got right in front of me and then promptly slowed down because he couldn't hold the pace. I tried to back off his wheel as best as I could, and then we hit a sharp left handed turn. After the turn I shot off ahead of him, and dropped his sorry butt. It just so happened at that exact moment, a USAT official was approaching on her moped. I though for sure she would give him an illegal pass - but nope. Yours truly was cited for drafting! Drafting! Bloody Hell! I don't cheat!! I was really surprised at the call, as I go out of my way to race clean. I am vehemently opposed to drafting in non-draft races... so getting hit with this call was especially insulting and infuriating. I was really angry, and when I went to protest my call, I was informed that all USAT decisions were non-negotiable. And final. End of story. And then she proceeded to tell me how "a lot of male triathletes didn't like getting passed by g-i-r-l-s," and that she didn't want to make it seem as though she was being unfair or biased).

I still thought the call was bogus, and I proceeded to tell her so. But it really didn't help my cause, as the violation remained final.

Now that we've established that death, taxes, and USAT drafting calls are final, it's still interesting watching the election returns. It never fails that as each year goes by, I learn more and more about our political process.


It would be bad if I wasn't!

So back to Tabbitha...

Nathaniel and I began to discuss a "Top Ten" list for our cat, and came up with a pretty decent list. (Can you tell that we don't have kids? And that we're bored with projected returns?? Good call). So yeah, as of this moment, our cat has her very own Top Ten list.

Tabbitha's Top Ten Favorite Things:

10. Toy Mice. All 138 or so that we have scattered around our apartment. She loves her mice. We love her mice. So much, so that we attach toy mice to shoe strings and boot bands and stuff. She'll inevitably get bored and play with the cardboard the stupid mouse came in. Go figure.

9. A Clean Kitty Box. At the sound of cat litter, Tabbitha goes nuts. She'll get so excited that she'll miss the box. And then we have to clean THAT up too.

8. Chlorine. Whenever I return from a swim, Tabbitha smells and rolls around in my chorine-scented towels. She'll smell my feet (ick - I hate feet!), go nuts over my sandals, and lay on my still-damp suits. If this cat could swim, she would be a really happy camper. I'm sure she would follow JenHarrison!'s workouts with much enthusiasm. Or else just hang out on the deck enjoying the smell.

7. Attacking from choke points around the apartment. Tabbitha has this "mean" streak. She'll hide behind a table, or behind the couch, wait until the perfect moment when some unsuspecting person is walking by, and then BAM! Attack, claws and teeth barred. It's pretty funny actually - as long as you're not the one being attacked. I have to apologize to all of our friends and houseguests in advance. No one believes me... until they see our cat in action. (If you're ever a visitor in our house, make sure that you wear long pants and sturdy shoes. No open toes or exposed ankles please...) Let's just say that Tabbitha really likes her Mom, tolerates her Dad (Nate's words, not mine), and goes after everyone else with a vengeance. The scary thing? Is that she's got all the choke points figured out and places herself accordingly...

6. Food. How can our cat inflict so much damage onto unsuspecting visitors you ask? Because she loves to eat. She eats. And eats. And eats some more. Even though we limit her intake (1/3 cup for breakfast and 1/3 cup for dinner), she never seems to decrease in size. So 18.2 pounds of hissing cat hurling your way can be a bit scary. Tabbitha loves her food.

5. Drinking from the bathtub tap. Tabbitha cat drinks from the tap. She used to enjoy the faucet, the bathroom sink. But - ahem - she's too big to fit her cat-butt in the sink. So Tabbs uses the bathtub. And her Mom and Dad oblige. (Suckers!)

4. Kalamata Olives. For some reason, Tabbitha loves Kalamata Olives. We discovered this one-day after eating a Greek Salad. Nathaniel spilled some Kalamata Olive juice on his hand, and she couldn't stop throwing herself at his hand. Just for kicks and giggles, he gave her a Kalamata Olive. No - she didn't eat it; she rubbed her whiskers all over it and then drooled. There was a wet mark on the floor. Even more than cat treats, Tabbitha is a fan of the Kalamata Olives...

3. Escaping outside. Tabbitha is an indoor cat, strictly. I get afraid of snakes. And alligators. And lawsuits (we've got some pretty cute little kids in our neighborhood - I don't want them getting viciously attacked by our mean-spirited cat). But every now and then, she'll try to escape outside. And then, so surprised at her success, she'll freeze. And THAT's when we nab her. Ha!

2. Dove hunting. We've got bird feeders on our back deck, and Tabbitha loves watching the birds. She almost got one once, but fortunately, it got away. Tabbitha was no worse for the wear, but was left with a lone feather as a memento. There she was, looking very angry, a startled bird flapping frantically away, and a single feather resting on her whiskers. I wish that I had gotten a photo of her expression – it was so sour. Like Christmas had been cancelled. The doves return all the time to eat (as long as the door is closed). And Tabbitha positions herself at the window, staring them down on the deck.

1. The Green Recliner. What else? Her favorite spot. Battles may be won or lost... but the war will rage on forever and ever.

So there you have it. A list of random stuff about our cat, on a quiet Tuesday night. Nathaniel is now asleep, and I'll be soon to follow. Tomorrow I've got my first Master's swim... (Cue the scary music). But I'm really excited. I've wanted to try this for a long time... And Coach Jen sent me an awesome email about the practice. So I'm READY TO ROCK!

It's in a new pool, in a new spot, with a new group of people. I can't wait!

Hopefully they don't use pool dye to detect bodily fluids. :)

(Angry Cat, Stupid Dove!)


Ashley said...

Have a BLAST at masters swim today! I'm sure you'll surprise yourself... and the rest of the swimmers. Enjoy, have fun, make new friends... and try to keep the water clean (no pee ;) HA!

Anonymous said...

Let us know how Masters goes today! I just started Masters swimming as well and I have to admit I was really nervous about it. Go Marit!

Jen in Budapest said...

Yeah, let us know about the Masters swim. I wish they had something like that in Budapest. And oh...ew gross. I've never peed in the pool but I wouldn't put it past myself. It may happen if I had some coaching issues too..;0)

Mel said...

you need to break that NEW pool in....SO let the pee flow :) Your too funny!!!

My Cat has your cat beat...HE is 26 lbs..NOW that is BIG BONED...I will post photos soon

Enjoy your swim!!!!

Anonymous said...

ooh, how about a "who has the biggest cat" contest???!?

Our Charlie is only 15 lbs, and since he's afraid to venture out of his little bed-home to eat when I'm around, he would definitely be the undercat in this contest. but he does love to eat, especially the wet food from the can, so don't count him out!