Saturday, June 7, 2008

Recipe for Health

Marit’s Recipe for Getting Better FAST:

Combine the following:

-1 Pirates of the Caribbean 3 DVD

-1-2 Trays of Sushi (1 is plenty, but if needed 2 is okay)

-1 Bag 14 oz Peanut Butter OR Peanut M&Ms (use sparingly – CAUTION: bags may appear as large as 96 oz. 14 oz is plenty. Do not fall into the trap of too many M&Ms, as may cause further stomach ailments)

-Unlimited amount of Cherry Cold-Eeze

-Unlimited amount of Hot Peppermint Tea

-Unlimited amount of water, diet coke, or non-alcoholic beverages

-Unlimited amount of Zicam lozenges (use as directed)
-Reading “At World’s End” by Ken Follett, as tolerated

-Reading Blogroll Friends, as tolerated

-Quick trip to Target (shop only according to list. Put down the stationary, moisturizer, Archer Farms Carmel corn, cat toy, and magazine)

-Quick trip to Albertson’s (shop only according to list. Put down the second bag of Peanut M&Ms, Ben & Jerry’s S’mores, second bottle of red wine, and piece of sheet cake. Extremely dangerous and may cause stomach ailments and upset!)

-Nap, as tolerated

-Pinch of humor

-Unlimited amount of Fat Grey Cat cuddling up next to you

-Change of the bed sheets
-2 new pairs of Zoot Ultra Race Shoes

-1 new Zipp Vuka Aerobar

-1 bottle, er glass, of Red Wine (optional, but only if feeling better. CAUTION: consume only 1 glass, as more will cause further head ailments)

-Discovery Channel’s “Survival Friday”, as tolerated.

-Sleep at will.

Start by admitting there is potential for sickness. Nothing will work if you don’t admit that you may be getting sick. At the first sign of sore throat or ill feeling, STOP whatever you are doing, cease and desist. It may be difficult as it is in your nature to press onwards and upwards. But this is your body’s sign of telling you that something is wrong. To prevent future ailments, easing off now is the best ingredient to a healthy future.

At first opportunity, start taking Zicam (as directed) and/or Cold-Eeze lozenges.

Change into comfy pajamas. If out of pajama pants, a CLEAN pair of husband’s boxer shorts will do the trick. Triple check they are in fact clean. I find that hiding a pair in my own clothes pile – that I KNOW are clean – will do the trick. Soft favorite shirt is also essential. Cover with sweatshirt. Bra or sports bra is optional.

Mix in plenty of fluids, including (but not limited to) tea, water, tea, soy milk, tea, tea, and more tea. Keep pushing the fluids. Several trips to the Water Closet may ensue, but as you are spending lots of time at home, this is okay. I highly recommend placing a second book in the bathroom for such occasions. In my case, Jon Grisham’s “The Appeal” did the trick.

Change the bed sheets. A clean, fresh pair of sheets, comforters, and plump pillows will work wonders for making the bed feel great, especially as you'll be spending a lot of time in it for the next 24 hours. Mixing and matching the comforter and sheets and pillow cases is not necessary. Although matching pillows and comforter is recommended, as it looks nice. An extra comforter will add a special touch to make the bed seem all the more inviting. Make sure the bedside table is clear of extra book, glasses, or miscellaneous items.

Curl up on bed with good book, fat grey cat, computer, and read as tolerated. If the need to sleep arises, make sure the computer is on the floor, so it doesn’t overheat and set fire to the bed. Very important!

After nap, check fridge. If contents do not meet your expectations, a trip to Target and the grocery store is recommended. Make sure to prepare list ahead of time.

Take off husband’s boxer shorts. Nothing says “crazy woman” like an individual that steps out in underwear. Comfortable running shorts and shirt, along with sturdy footwear is recommended.

Target: Do NOT stop at moisturizer isle, Do NOT stop at junk food isle, Do NOT stop at trashy magazine section, Do NOT buy more than is necessary. Make sure to wipe down the car before you touch it. Hand wipes are strongly recommended. Go in, pick up items on list (Pirate of Caribbean 3, cereal, peanut butter, broom, Zicam, bottle of red wine (rule: must be under $10), and anything else ON THE LIST).

Drop off items in waiting car.

Walk to grocery store: Do NOT pick up more than one bag of Peanut or Peanut Butter M&Ms, Do NOT stop at ice cream isle, Do NOT head down junk food isle more than one time, Do NOT stop at bakery for sheet cake. Make sure to wipe down the cart before you touch it. Hand wipes are strongly recommended. Go in, pick up items on list (Sushi, 1-2 trays depending on what is available and how it looks, soy milk, deli meat, spinach, red peppers, grapefruit, and bag of Peanut or Peanut Butter M&Ms if not already bought from Target), and anything else ON THE LIST.

Drop off items in waiting car and drive quickly home.

Change back into husband’s boxer shorts. DOUBLE CHECK they are 1) clean and 2) the same pair that you were wearing before. If he is home, he may very well have tried to wear them.

Make hot tea, and consume Zicam, Cold-Eeze, and any other medications as needed.

Set up bed as desired. When watching a new DVD, plump pillows, clean sheets, a clear bed side table, and down comforters that have been aired out our optimal. Make sure there is enough room for sushi and beverages of choice. Double check that both remotes are present, that your book of choice is within reach, and that the laptop hasn’t set fire to anything within its vicinity.

Throw in DVD of choice.

Consume sushi and Peanut Butter or Peanut M&Ms as tolerated.

Continue taking Zicam, as directed.

Continue consuming beverages of choice. Hot tea and water is best. IF feeling better, a celebratory glass of red wine may be appropriate. But beware: you are NOT out of the woods yet. Continue consuming water and tea after glass of red wine.

Check mail for expectant packages: squeal with delight when new Zoot Ultra Race Shoes (2 pairs!!!) arrive from Zoot Sports, and new Zipp Vuka Aerobar Set arrives from Zipp.

Start feeling better immediately.

Start reading instruction manual for Zipp Vuka Aerobar, and feel slightly sick. DO NOT attempt to install after consuming a glass of wine. Instead, put on floor and admire. Resolve to bring to bike shop the very next day.

Watch Bonus Features of Special Extended DVD disc of Pirates of the Caribbean 3. Look for hints about the filming of Pirates of the Caribbean 4. Didn’t the movie end with Jack looking for the Fountain of Youth??? Hhhhmmmm……

Read MORE as tolerated.

Peek at Discovery Channel’s “Survival Friday”. Wait for 5 minutes for Bear Grylls to remove shirt, and then flip to House Hunters.

Fall asleep.

Yields: A Happy, healthy YOU the next morning. A 45 minute run is recommended to celebrate good health.



TriGirl Kate O said...

Shouldn't it be fall asleep dreaming of Bear Grylls w/ no shirt on?

Too funny. I hope you're back to 100% soon. Isn't it great about Jen?!

Anonymous said...

and, mucho importanto- blueberry picking the following morning :-)


Ashley said...

My gosh... after all this, you'd better be feeling better. ;) Take care. ps, my mom wanted me to pass this message along from Vancouver: "Tell Marit we missed her this year, but we know we'll see her soon. Sincerely, Worlds"