You know....

YOU KNOW THAT YOU'RE TRAINING FOR IRONMAN WHEN:

- You wake up at 4:30 am, ravenously hungry, and even the cat looks good.

- 1,000 meters at the pool is a warm up.

- You carry around hand sanitizer and use it all the time, for fear of germs, germs, and more germs. And at the grocery store, when there are no more sanitizing wipes left for you car (germs!), you break out the hand sanitizer.

- You stop being self-conscious in compression socks, athletic gear, and apparel that you would not normally wear in public.

- A quick trip to the car sans bra in order to pick up fill-in-the-blank is perfectly okay. Because you are constantly making trips to the car to pick up other sorts of fill-in-the-blanks.

-First breakfast at 4:00 am is a frequent occurrence.

- Riding the bike for four hours on a weekend seems...so...short?

-You consider throwing a tantrum that would put the kid in Isle 9 to shame, just because the store is OUT of Swedish Fish.

- Late night TV? Leno is now on at 10 pm? Funny joke - NOT going to happen.

- You buy new running shoes every 8 weeks.

- You are on a first-name basis with the receptionist at your ART therapist/massage therapist/ ? therapist's office. And even they are familiar with your (particular) ailments).

- Hello tan lines. Bike shoes/running shoes, bike shorts, bathing suit, bike tops, running tops, and my personal favorite? Goggle and swim cap lines. Yes, at this point, my forehead is muliti-colored along my cap line.

- You are so used to riding with gels, baggies of powdered drink mix, spare tubes, patch kit stuff, bars (because really - how many gels can you really ingest without hurling?), salt tablet canisters, maps, and everything-short-of-the-kitchen-sink, wearing ONLY a bike top feels oddly...refreshing.

- Two showers per day are common. Three aren't unheard of.

- Your sex life is based around your long ride schedule. 7-hours in the saddle and trust me when I say it is NOT happening.

- You are still swimming 10, 15...20 minutes after the rest of your Masters swim team leaves the pool.

- You try running "fast" and picking up your legs, only to realize that you look ridiculous and that all your speed left when you 1) stopped doing speed workouts and 2) starting running long all the time. You miss the track.

- You eat until you are bursting...only to realize 45 minutes later that...you're still physically hungry but uncomfortably full.

-On long rides, you pretty much discover what you CAN and UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES CAN NOT eat. Coke is okay...along with gummy worms, Swedish fish, fig newtons. Candy corn, peanut butter cups, and coffee with cream - not so much.

-You don't get slimmer. You get stronger.

- Your hair stylist looks at your split ends and comments, "wow - you must spend a lot of time in the sun. Or in chlorine." How about both?

- Creativity and meal planning? Ha! A joke! Its the same recycled meals...week after week after week... Currently tofu stir fry is our "favorite". The big decision? Do we go with Spicy Kung Pao sauce OR Teriyaki Ginger?

- Your lane mates know that its Monday because you're wearing the red and orange suit and Wednesday, because you're wearing the blue and purple suit.

-Reading anything intellectually stimulating is impossible. Staring at the book in a post-workout stupor is much more common.

- On that note...staring at the television in a post-workout stupor becomes the norm. And usually it takes a minute or two for something funny to register.

- You suddenly become very aware of every twinge, pain, hot spot, and are immediately convinced that if you don't deal with it NOW, you will be sidelined for weeks.

- When you've got a headache, you wonder if its from dehydration, salt depletion OR just a headache. Water...salt tabs...and Motrin. In that order.

- You find yourselves going to different convenience stores to pick up 40-lb bags of ice, because you're sick of the same clerk asking the same questions. Woa! That's a lot of ice! You must be having some party, right?

- You have three...wait four!....months of wine bottles for your wine club membership waiting to be picked up because you just don't want bottles upon bottles upon bottles of temptation in the house.

- You think that you may be prone to sleep walking and sleep eating, but you're not sure. The trail of broken wheat thins...bread crumbs on the counter...and empty chocolate wrapper in the pantry make you suspect though.

- Simple things - an orchestra's performance, a pelican flying in the breeze, a kitty stretching - can capture your attention and hold it for an inordinate amount of time.

- You start calculating the amount of salt not only in your training foods, but regular foods as well.

- You start referring to life as "after the IM" or "before the IM".

- The laundry makes it (mostly) from the floor to the washer to the dryer to....the futon. And there. It. Sits. Semi-folded.

-You get used to hearing the BBC news broadcast early in the morning as you drive to X practice.

- Investing in chamois cream companies seem like a pretty promising idea, based on how much you use and how frequently you use it.

- You smell like the pool, even on days when you don't swim.

- You dream about the time when you can stay out late, eat junk, drink more than what's necessary, sleep in and...hhhmmmm.....what will you do on Saturday?

- You get emotional watching the online coverage of other Ironman races, because you know that one day you'll be there.

- You are ready, willing, and MORE than able to fight the old lady for the last package of fill-in-the-blank. Because you are training for an Ironman, and YOU ARE HUNGRY.

- You have a short attention span and-