My new Normal

Today my Mom left, and it made me sad...

I had such a great time with her here in Pensacola. Originally, the plan was for her to fly out to Tempe and spend time with me during my big Ironman debut.

Clearly, it came to a crashing halt. :)

In the aftermath of the accident, my Dad and then Nathaniel were able to make it out to California. Elizabeth was wonderful, and remained by my side until Dad was in town - and then had to return to normalcy in Chicago.

Eventually, I was cleared to return home, and slowly the pieces of my life fell back into place. Dad left California the Sunday after the accident, and Nathaniel and I flew out the Friday after that.

After spending a few days in Pensacola with just Nathaniel and Tabbitha, Mom arrived. I was so grateful for her to be here: it was extremeley difficult to go through what I went through without her by my side (initially). And I knew it must have been excrutiating for her to be stuck in Minnesota, while her daughter lay in a hospital bed.

But it was a HAPPY day last Wednesday when she arrived in Pensacola. The final piece was put in place, and for 6 great days, my Mom and I got to hang out and spend a lot of quality time together. I didn't have to worry about workouts or other obligations, she didn't have to worry about work or her obligations - it was just time for us to spend together.

And I think it was really important for her to see with her own eyes that I was doing okay. MOre than okay...

In fact, all things considered - I'm doing pretty darn good.

I'm giving my Physical Therapists a run for their money (within reason!), am walking up a storm at the track, and have even managed a swim (don't worry - no peeing in the pool yet!).

It's one thing to reassure friends and family over the phone that you're doing much better, but it's completely different when they see you for themselves.

And while Mom wasn't too thrilled with my tatoo idea, she sort of gulped, and agreed that I should commemorate my accident and scar in some sort of way. In her words, "You have an awfully big scar - it would take a really big tatoo to commemorate it... perhaps you might go for something a little smaller...?"

And I grinned inspite of myself.

(Who wouldn't?)

After I dropped her off today, I sulked around the apartment. It just wasn't the same. Even though she had just left, I missed her already. It was great - all the time we got to talk, hang out, play spider solitair, joke with The House Monster, while Mom was crocheting and I was reading - all times that I'll never forget.

And the hard part, is that we only get to see each other a few times a year. Yes, we're a short plane trip away - but Sunday dinners, once the norm with our family when Karyna and I were growing up and Grandma and Grandpa would head over - are no more. And though I talk to my parents every few days, I still miss them terribly.

That's the tough part about growing up, moving away, and marrying someone with a job that takes you to far away places.

But that's also the wonderful part: I realize and know how wonderful my parents and sister are. I love them so much, and even though I don't get to see them all that often, the times that we do share are that much more special.

This bike crash put a lot of things into perspective for me, the number one being to never ever EVER take anything for granted. Family and relationships are so important. And I feel lucky to have the family that I do.

Now that Mom is back in Minnesota, things are somewhat back to normal. I talked to Jen earlier tonight - and we talked a bit about my mood, my routine.

I was as honest as I could be.

In a way - this sucks. I want to get going, I want to get moving, I want to recover and return to as "normal" that I can be.

Bit I have to wait - I have to be patient.

My NEW normal is a life filled with physical therapy 3 times per week, water walking, power walking, and hand cranking a bike. Kind of mixed up if you ask me - I'm walking in the water, I'm pedaling with my hands, and walking backwards on the treadmill. My new "triathlon" if you ask me.

But as I talked to Jen, I realized that there really is no such thing as "normal". There is no right formula, no "magic" solution. Everyone is different, and every individual responds in their own unique way.

And I'm okay with that.

Besides, I've never been "normal" and have always walked to the beat of my own drum. This time, it'll just be in the pool with a water aerobics belt. But the point being - I'm back in the pool, and life is good.

Mom - I had a great time... thanks for everything. I love you! Love, Maritka.