First Post BACK!

I don’t even know where to begin, how to start – so I’ll do as I usually do, and simply delve in.

First of all: A HUGE THANK YOU!!! To EVERYONE out there. Your thoughts, well wishes, prayers, good vibes, phone calls, flowers, notes, pick-me-ups, and everything in between has made such a tremendous impact. I have spent much time on the phone with my Mom and with Jen, discussing all the kind-hearted posts and comments. As of now (Thursday, March 20th at 1:45 pm PST) I haven’t been able to go on line and read or respond to anyone. But please know that I am forever grateful…

I cried more from the well wishes and thoughtfulness of everyone out there, than from the impact of my crash (Kapow! Torry Pines couldn’t get the best of me – ha! And no, that’s not a challenge. It’s simply a statement of truth.)

Rest assured, as soon as I can spend any amount of time on line, I WILL! And I will comment as much as I can.

Several times over the past few days, Mom has read to me (via cell phone) all the tremendous outpourings of support through various blogs and comments on my blog.

And I am so grateful.

There were a few times in the past few days where I could feel myself getting a little blue, could feel the sadness, doubt, and insecurity creep back into the horizons of my brain. But a few words from my Mom and glances at all the emails and comments that Liz printed out for me on Tuesday have made all the difference for me.

So thank you, my friends.

Second: Sorry if my writing is a bit scattered, skittered, or what-have-you. I’m still on the pain medicine, so my thoughts may be a bit “fuzzier” than usual. As of a few hours ago, I’m off of the IV pain meds – yippee! And instead, am on regular pain pills. But as with any triathlon, as with any sort of event, it’s a matter of time trying to figure out what combination works and what doesn’t.

(It took me several months to FINALLY figure out what I was planning on using nutrition-wise for IM Arizona). So I’m going to give my doctors and nurses a break when it comes down to figuring out which pain meds work best for me.

So – while you may find humor in my blog and with my writing – you may have reason to find even more with this particular entry. Ahem.

Third: An update.

As of now, my prognosis is very good. HOORAY!!!! J

Initially what appeared as a hip or pelvis fracture, turned out to be a broken S-1, or Sacrum. It was very difficult to diagnose, due to the location of the fracture. The initial X-Ray indicated a break; the subsequent CAT Scan showed an even more serious injury, and the final MRI revealed the need for emergency surgery.

The good news is that this is a very small section of the non-weight bearing spine. My Mom went on “the Google”, and was given a very helpful diagram of information regarding this bone and its relation to the spinal structure. If you’re interested, I recommend that you do the same. (Sorry that I can’t provide the link, as I’m writing without “the Google” J)

My doctor found that both the anterior and the posterior part of the S-1 was severely fractured. Additionally, there were several large bone chips and fragments imbedded into my Sacral nerve (spelling – sorry! It’s the meds!). The Sacral nerve is important, as it controls many of the sensory parts of the pelvic region. Right now, post surgery, I’ve got about 60-65% sensation in my pelvic region – not back to full capacity, but wonderful considering the severity of the injury.

Both sides of the Sacral Nerve (left and right) were damaged in the impact. The approximate healing time is unknown, and varies from patient to patient. I could be back to “normal” in 3 weeks, 3 months, or even 12 months. But all systems should be “go” within a year or so.

The S-1 bone will take between 8-12 weeks to mend. The great news is that I can swim, can do low-impact cardio, and will become a rock star in the pool. Jen Harrison: Watch Out! You’ve got ME to contend with! (In the far far far future – but bring it on!).

There are so many unknowns with an injury of this magnitude. Technically, I broke part of my back and sustained severe damage to my nerves.

Then again – this WAS the non-weight bearing part of my back and only the sensory nerves.

However…

Add in the factor that I’m a pretty decent-in-shape triathlete, and you’ve got an entirely new kitten-caboodle.

And finally…

I’ve got a great sense-of-humor, great attitude, and try to roll with the punches. So if I get lemons, I’ll more likely-than-not, try to make lemonade. Or something of the sort.

Let’s just say that I’m a big believer in the healing power of a positive mental attitude.

And besides, I’ve often found that there are so many things in life that we simply can’t control. However, WE CAN CONTROL HOW WE REACT, HOW WE RESPOND.

We choose our attitude; we choose how we want to behave (well, as long as the pain meds aren’t too strong!)

If I could go back in time and change what happened last Monday, I would do it in a heartbeat. But I can’t.

And as Grumpy Bear in the “Care Bears” used to remiss, “There’s no use crying over spilled milk!”

(He was also the one who claimed, “We’re not here to bake cookies!”)

No use crying over what has already happened. Yes, I’ll be sad, have painful moments. And I know that there will be good days and bad. That’s only human, that’s part of life. But I am determined to heal as quickly and as safely as possible. This is merely a small detour in my life.

So, there you have it.

I am so grateful to everyone out there. Your support has been simply overwhelming, and I will forever be grateful. If I could personally thank each and every one of you, I would… But know that you ALL have played a tremendous part in my recovery. So thank you.

And I’ll leave you with this:

Before the accident, I was embarrassed about my butt. Never a big fan of “flashing” or “bearing my bottom”, my derriere has lead a tame life. 3 years on my high school Cross Country Team, and my bottom never saw the light of day. Go figure. However, for the first time on Sunday, I actually managed to produce a BM in the woods after our run (Liz was SO proud!). If the bush that I squatted behind could be permanently scarred, I’m sure it would be. (this, my friends, is the meds talking. Enjoy)

Post-accident, it’s been an entirely different story. First thing Monday after the accident, Liz took a gander at my rear. And after biking up to Chris and Thomas, Chris pulled out my shorts and commented, “what a great bruise!” I was sporting. And finally, to add insult to injury – while laying flat on my stomach on Brad’s floor – Thomas pulled out my shorts, took a long look at my ass, and stuck a bag of ice on my bruise. With a few choice words, of course.

In the hospital, it’s been no different. I find myself apologizing to the various doctors and nurses when they take a peek at my butt. They have assured me, however, that they see many butts (and asses) in their line of work. So mine is one of many.

But its still mine. My butt.

And for now, my butt is broken.

But its not defeated. Yes, it hurts. And yes, it prevents me from doing what I love. But the outlook isn’t permanent, and before I know it, I’ll be back up on my feet, swimming, biking, and running my heart off.

But for now, I’ll stick with the walking. (Without the walker, of course!) That has already been discarded, given a permanent place in my closet of post-surgical accessories. Hooray.

Besides, I’m already causing enough ruckuses on the 4th floor of Scripps Memorial Hospital in La Jolla. After abandoning my walker, I’m walking laps upon laps around the corridors, catheter and Foley (pee pouch) in tow. And I’m surging past my neighbors from room 411 and room 413 in the process.

Yep – I’m back.

Thanks again to everyone out there. Love to you all!